Chloe and Amber, Stay the Hell Home

"The No-Kids-Allowed Movement is Spreading"

What's upsetting is not that restaurants, resorts and other establishments are adopting "no kids allowed" policies, but that they feel the need to do so.

It never fails to amaze me when I see parents drag four year olds to horror movies or bring toddlers learning to master finger food to a fancy restaurant and then expect those children to not scream in fear and beg to leave or throw food at a waiter. And then, the parents KEEP ON with their evening as if it is not happening.

To quote every single mother of a child my age, "I *will* turn this car around."

People always remark to me how well-behaved Chloe is when we are out. You know why that is? She likes being out and she knows that we are not.having.it. When Chloe has thrown a fit in a restaurant, we remove her from the restaurant. When Chloe has insisted on whining and throwing sand at her sister after repeated admonishments, we remove her from the beach.

WE TURN THE CAR AROUND.

And here's the other thing: we don't take our kids to the Four Seasons for tea and expect them to fold their napkins perfectly. We take them to Applebees where they hand out crayons. We don't take our kids to a movie that is not appropriate for them and then expect them to watch it quietly. We take them to animated things that I don't give a shit about because it is what *is* appropriate for them.

If more parents were willing to take responsibility for their kids' behavior, make choices that don't suck and turn the Goddamn car around once in awhile, no business would have to make these policies.

But, then I wouldn't get to pretend I'm all high and mighty either.