My Million Dollar Idea

Ok, so I have an invention idea that will put both my kids through college...

First, the background:

Yesterday, Chloe spent the day with Aunt JoJo and Uncle Fuzz, much to her (and our) delight. Ed and I went on a "date" to see Resident Evil: Afterlife. Say what you want about our taste in action movies, but a horror/sci-fi/action movie with a kick ass FEMALE hero is something that I can really get behind. I *love* this series. I own the three previous movies and watch them a LOT. Plus, when I was pregnant with Chloe, the third one (still trying to decide if it's still my fave after yesterday) was my go to movie... and when I say "go to," I mean I would watch it multiple times a week. Sometimes back to back. I had a craving for it the way I craved hummos early in this pregnancy. Anyway, the other plus to watching zombie flicks when pregnant is that they are about something scary that CANNOT HAPPEN (i.e. will never effect your child - unlike the evening news) and because of that (and because they are not sappy), zombie movies will never make a pregnant woman cry. And crying in this state is not just tears slipping down the face. Crying at this stage of pregnancy (27.5 weeks) = hyperventilating hysteria which prevents me from taking a deep breath.

So, bring on the zombies!

This is where things fall apart.

I followed up my very wise cinematic decision by going home, finishing (with Ed and Chloe's help) the dresser for the girls' room and folding laundry. Then, I wanted to unwind in front of the TV. But, nothing was on. What I should have done was pop out the third Resident Evil movie. What I did was change channels until I found something familiar (i.e. I KNOW THE ENDING SO I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER) which is how I was watching Mask. And Spoiler Alert if you don't know, but...
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That kid dies at the end. Just like he has done EVERY FREAKIN' TIME I HAVE WATCHED THE THING.

So, when I went upstairs, hyperventilating, red-faced, not breathing, absolutely hysterical, all of Ed's friends died in whatever game he's playing because he had to go AFK (Away from Keyboard) and hug me until I could finally stop.

So - that brings me to my millon dollar idea.

You know the lock that parents can put on TVs so that their kids can't watch porn? I think daddies-to-be should be able to purchase a lock that prevents their preggo wives from watching anything that involves the death of a kid, a puppy, someone with a disease or anything on the six o'clock news.

For convenience, we can sell them on the same aisle as the donuts or pickles at the grocery store.