Monday, May 3, 2010

She's Only Seventeen... Err, or 35. Either Way.

So, a week and a half ago, I called in to Spike's radio show on 94 WYSP and won tickets to see Kip Winger in an acoustic performance at "The Cube: An 80s Dining Experience."

When I called my husband and told him of my excitement, he said, "Who's Kip Winger?" And I said, "DUH - of the 80s rock band, WINGER?!" And he said, "that doesn't help me." I then filled his email with Mp3s... to which he responded, "that's white people music."


Clearly, I was in search of a co-pilot for this adventure. And here's the thing about last week: almost all of my friends were on vaca... (or too young to appreciate one Kip Winger). I mentioned my dilemma to Lucinda, also slated for vacation. And when I described the charming way I won the tickets, the fact that the show was in Newark, DE at an 80s-themed dive bar and the fact that I had no partner in crime, she burst out laughing and boldly declared, "Oh, I will change my plans for this! It's on!"


That's Kip Winger. He was so close, we could have totally jumped him on stage if we were still of the age of doing such things. Luckily for Kip Winger, we are not.

Before I discuss Kip (and that smile which he still has - oh), we have to discuss venue. Picture the dive-iest dive bar you've ever been in and then fill it with curio cabinets that are teeming with Alf dolls and Star Wars action figures and Rainbow Brite dolls (I had that one) and as many other 80s filled accessories as you can imagine. We knew we had found the ladies room because Ms. PacMan was on the door. In other words, it was FREAKIN' AWESOME.

In a way that the opening band, ROAR, so wasn't. Man. I mean, MAN. It was not good. They played two songs that didn't suck - a Hendrix cover and (surprisingly) a Monkees cover. Their lead singer has neither a good voice nor the ability to stay in key, which means that I could be a lead singer. But, their guitar player was decent and we were sitting near the video games, so each song was punctuated with the sound of Space Invaders. So, that was cool.

You know what else was cool? KIP WINGER. I liked Winger back in the day, but I was not the die hard fan that many in the audience were (and boy were they - the audience should be a post all on it's own, but I'm afraid some of them might track me down and cut me). I knew the songs from the radio, but didn't own any CDs... now I wish I had. Lucinda and I were both really blown away by his skills as a musician. He played an instrumental that was just amazing. Yeah, he's got the look of a rock and roll guy and the hair and all that, but the dude can sing and even more impressive, the dude can PLAY. (In fact, he writes for the San Francisco Ballet.)

The other thing that I didn't anticipate was that he was really funny. When Ginger (my GPS) told us, "you have reached your destination" and Lu and I frantically looked around to find the place, we both bust out laughing. I said, "Don't you feel bad for Kip Winger (because the venue was so small)?" But, I tell you, it was really a great evening because he was so relaxed with the crowd, kept cracking jokes, did a bit of improv and even sang a duet with a Cube-regular who won a karaoke contest for the privilege. So, it was really a good time... and if I lived in Newark, DE, I would totally go to the Cube.

One thing to know about Lu and I is that we do this really weird Kiss-inspired-rock-and-roll-tongue-out pose at any picture taking opportunity. Like at my wedding when she was the maid of honor, causing my mother to call out, "OH, that's NICE. HOW PRETTY" in a very sarcastic way. Anyway, I mention this only to prep you for this:

Which caught the attention of a bouncer in a way that I really did not anticipate. "I can totally get you girls closer if you want." And Lucinda and I looked at him in utter confusion because 1) any closer and I'd be sitting on Kip Winger's shoulders and 2) we're so not hot anymore and 3) what would such a favor cost because 4) EWWW.

To sum up, AWESOME evening thanks to Kip Winger, Spike, WYSP and my partner in crime for so many adventures previous and future: Lucinda.

P.S. Texts to the Hubs Throughout the Evening:

Me: "Omg venue is next to a dollar store. Lmao"
(no response)

Me: "Roar sux. Lol"
(no response)

Me: "There are 2 black people here!" (In response to his previous assertion)
(no response)

Me: "Im leaving you for Kip Winger."
Him: "Bye"

Me: "Just kidding Hubs! xoxo"

P.P.S. from Chloe

Don't worry about not inviting ME to be your co-pilot. I didn't WANT TO GO. So there. Daddy and I had fun by ourselves. WITHOUT YOU.


Spike said...

This is great!

Beth said...

do my old age eyes deceive me, or is monsieur winger wearing some spectacles?

also. the best part of it all, in my opinion, besides your kick-ass KISS tongue with devil's horns?

is the fact that you let your husband know that there was a dollar tree next door.

you are one hard-rockin' groupie!!!

grams said...

yeah..this is cute but where are pictures of THE BABY?!

Heather and Ed and Chloe said...

Beth, indeed he was.

Grams, stay tuned later today... Chloe returns.

Hi, Spike!

Anonymous said...

Singer of Roar first I was stung by the criticism until I realized you were actually married to Randy Jackson. "A bit pitchy"

Heather and Ed and Chloe said...

OMG, now I feel absolutely horrible. I'm very sorry, Lead Singer of Roar. I did have a wonderful time and what the hell do I know anyway?

Yikes. I thought when I left my career in political advertising I had that whole "try not to go to Hell" thing handled.


Lucinda said...

(apologies for a repeat comment; technology stuff is for the birds!!!)

To the lead singer of ROAR: less loud and more on key. You have great stage presence, however you are SOOOOOOOOOOOO off-key that it is not enjoyable to listen.

But then again, Heather and I are old, and we were not drunk and it was getting past our respective bedtimes.